16 Stones (2014) Reviews

• Mormon-themed National Treasure that is a complete bore

  alienator3452014-10-08

  Last weekend I was rummaging through showtimes, deciding what I wanted to see when suddenly I noticed that a movie called 16 Stones was an option. I never heard of it before, but upon brief research I learned it was about a group of Saints in the early days of the LDS church who went on a journey to find the 16 stones that lit up the Jaredite barges. Wait what? Did that really happen? Suddenly my curiosity was piqued and I almost saw it that night. But I waited. Then during the LDS General Conference over the course of the next couple of days, the movie was advertised pretty heavily between sessions. I also noted a billboard or two advertising the movie along I-15 here in Utah. So all that did it. At the very least, I knew that a lot of my LDS readers would be curious about this movie after having watched General Conference, so I figured I'd do my duty and inform that crowd what I thought of the movie. Because, you know, I'm a nice guy like that. Turns out I got really bored really quickly, but I hung in there. Now I'm here informing you that this is a movie that you should just avoid as it's one of the worst LDS-themed movies that I've ever seen. It's right down there with The Singles 2nd Ward and Sons of Provo. That bad. I'm a pretty big fan of church history. I especially like learning more about stories and events that happened in church history that I didn't know about. It gives me a greater respect knowing everything people went through as well as good insight knowing how people thought and believed back then. That there was the biggest draw from this movie. I had never heard of an event in church history where there was a group of people that went out and searched for the 16 stones. I wanted to know more. Uhhh... turns out there is a reason why I never heard this story. It didn't ever happen! Yes, this movie is purely fictional. Once I realized this I was really disappointed. No history to be learned here. This event didn't happen. What it is is National Treasure, Mormon style. It's set in the early days of the church. Joseph and Emma Smith are even in the movie. We have this kid named James who decides that he wants to go search for the stones because he is convinced that finding it will stop all the persecution going on. His two friends, Elaine and Thomas, join him and the three of them are off on this big treasure hunt that lasts the whole movie. In theory, this premise could work out. I personally enjoyed both National Treasure movies and even though the things they were searching for could never be found in real life, it was still a lot of fun anyways. Same here. No way in heck is someone going to actually find the 16 stones unless God wanted it to happen. It's kinda like a golden plates type of thing. But yet, if done right, a movie searching for these objects could be a lot of fun. The problem is, everything about this movie is just off. It's definitely a low-budget movie, but that's no excuse. I've seen plenty of amazing low-budget movies. But this is a low-budget movie where you wonder how much effort was actually put into making this. The script is horrendous. The dialogue is clunky and forced. And worse of all, the acting by our three main characters is so bad that it's hard to watch. I'm not really sure if it's their fault or if it's a case where they have nothing to work with and no talented directors to help them. Possibly a bit of both. But whatever the issue is, it makes this hard to watch. I suppose I can appreciate the intentions behind this film. No big name directors or big name actors. A very low-budget movie where they were just trying to make this inspiring film. And it does have its moments where you feel good after a speech from Joseph Smith about faith. But overall, you need more than just good intentions to make a good movie. Take The Book of Mormon Movie for example. The director there had this amazing vision of bringing the Book of Mormon to the world by making a movie. Love that idea. There's a lot of great, inspiring movies that could be made from the Book of Mormon. But the execution of that was so bad that you wish the director would've just kept that vision to himself and not acted upon it. Same thing here. A Mormon-style National Treasure movie where they are searching for the 16 stones could be a lot of fun. But it isn't. Bad script. Bad acting. Bad story. No interesting drama. Nothing good about this film. I mean, I was literally the only one in the theater Wednesday night during the showing and I took advantage of that and played around on my phone for the last half of the movie. I even took a little quiz that told me how I died in a former life and posted in on my facebook. That was more interesting than the movie I was watching. I'm giving 16 Stones a failing grade, a 4/10.

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• Mormon artifacts

  bkoganbing2014-12-19

  I was more curious by the reaction of the only other reviewer to this film than the film itself. 16 Stones is a film about three young Mormons who go out on a pilgrimage to recover lost artifacts to prove that a civilization existed here in North America of pilgrims who came from the Middle East. Not reading the book of Mormon I can't answer for what's there. But one of the miracles described is the finger of God touching 16 ordinary rocks and giving them an incandescent glow the better to see by night on that long ocean voyage. Brother and sister Aubrey Reynolds and Mason Davis travel with Ben Isaacs to hunt for one of the stones being given directions by an Indian who's seen it. The trio have their problems with the usual gang of gentile type thieves who hate Mormons. The story takes place in the State of Missouri during the Andrew Jackson presidency and the Missourians raised Mormon persecution to an almost Nazi like level. The Governor of Missouri of the time one Lilburn Boggs issued a shoot on sight order against Mormons a one of its kind order in our history. One thing I've always liked about films showing the early church is the great attention to detail showing 19th century America. Whatever else the Church of Latter Day Saints is, it is a great repository for history and documentation of the early LDS church. Every film produced by the LDS church is like that and 16 Stones is no different. But the problem is that this is a work of fiction, plainly so. That seemed to upset the other reviewer who is a member of the church. In plain fact I think that Mormons would welcome some independent archaeological verification of the Book Of Mormon. That's rather pooh pooed by Brad Johnson who plays Joseph Smith in 16 Stones. I don't think the real Joseph Smith would have done that. I enjoyed the film, I take it for what it is.

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• Exceptional awfulness in writing

  mj_jernigan2017-05-07

  "The following account is fictional but the trials of faith portrayed herein resonate within the experiences of early members of the Church." Account? Fictional? Then it is not an account, it is a story. What early members of the Church were asked about this story to claim such resonance? The writing and plot don't get any more intelligent after that opening statement. This is not just Mormon fiction, it is historical fiction, upon historical fiction, upon historical fiction, upon historical fiction, to the point that you end up asking yourself about once a minute: What?, How?, or, simply, Huh? It is as if a child wrote it. That would be the only reasonable explanation of such abuse of history and such astoundingly ignorant plot holes (too many to name and it's hard to pick a favorite bad example without listing several). National Treasure could not hope to be so clueless and naive. It's as if ANY attempts at believability and accuracy were purposely avoided. Any mature viewer is guaranteed no chance of suspending disbelief in this film. This film embarrasses me. I try to give leeway to low-budget films and rate them on their own merit, but there is no excuse for writing this bad. It makes me wonder how this film ever got made. Someone clearly has too much money and no idea what to do with it. I give very few one-star ratings and this is one of those rare films that solidly earned it. Reptilicus was better than this. This is on par with Santa Clause Conquers the Martians.

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• Not Great, but Good Mormon Fiction

  sendscottmailnow2017-10-30

  Stumbled across this movie on Amazon and thought it sounded interesting. I am a member of the LDS church and know well the story of the 16 stones touched by the finger of God from the BoM account. This movie is pure fiction as there is no known account or belief amongst church members that these stones still exist or could be found today. I found the fictional story line interesting, but the character development and plot line were both a bit weak. This is common among many films made by/for Mormons. They are still getting it together in terms of good quality movie production. The film is probably better suited for teens and young adults (I am 54), but it was an OK Saturday evening watch after the yard work.

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• Religious treasure-hunt

  blumdeluxe2017-02-26

  "16 Stones" is a movie centered around the Mormon belief. It tells the story of three young folks, traveling the country in search for a sacred artifact, learning that faith is more important than what you can see or touch. Unfortunately, the movie is clearly not even close to neutral or critical storytelling. Rather it is a big advertisement for the Mormon belief. While of course everyone has the right to produce such movies, I always have my difficulties when believes are hidden behind fictional movie plots because especially for younger audiences this always tastes a bit like infiltration. To make this clear, my rating has nothing to do with the religion itself, I just in general feel like religious blockbusters are not the way to carry on a message. This is especially sad because if you let go the tons of "meaningful" dialogues and some questionable assumptions like the one that native Americans are really bible-days Christian ancestors, "16 Stones" is actually quite a nice film, a classical treasure-hunt that keeps you entertained and cheering for the heroes. However, I propose to choose one: Make an entertaining treasure-hunt for kids or produce a film for your community to strengthen their faith. I give one extra-star for the statement that no-one should be persecuted due to his religion though.

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