Avalanche Sharks (2014) Reviews

• Potential Lost

  l-905212017-08-22

  Heaps of potential wasted. You have cute chicks, they are thin and have long hair, there is a bikini contest announced, everyone is on vacation (except one who is in grief so can be made happy) and what does this movie do? Next to nothing with it. The problem with this film was they bought into their own silly idea and title and left the bride at the altar.

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• The reason people watch Informercials

  dbb-883412017-05-20

  I mean one always wonders who these people are who watch infomercials for 30 minutes at a time. Well, here is our answer. It is more fun and interesting to watch an infomercial compared to this. I do give three stars for the hardbods and the chick who promises sex to the ski-doo race winner, but what a tease this movie is. Give me a break. Show us what we want to see! So a tease, no real action, the story is clichéd and a corrupt copper... OK whatever

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• I gave it 3 stars and watched until the end for the cleavage

  lvk-912062017-05-07

  The cleavage and hard bodies are spectacular and promising but the promise of a bikini contest never materializes and there are no women being natural and flaunting their bodies and no sex. It is almost like a Taliban/Republican ski resort. Otherwise, the story is a joke, the 'so-called' sharks look like rubber duckies and just when someone yells 'movement alerts them, they all... move! Opposite of Simon Says!!! I did enjoy that the sheriff leaves all his guns and machine guns (!!!) hanging out available on the wall and that the 'Japanese' woman cannot even pronounce the simplest of Japanese words anywhere near a Japanese person... Guys, just give us the T&A and we will watch and enjoy... what is all this other stuff? Hoorah for thin, flaunting women who spread it.

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• A film that shouldn't exist

  Vartiainen2014-06-21

  Avalanche Sharks is a stupid film, plain and simple. Its characters have no characteristics beyond the surface. We have the corrupt sheriff, the greedy businessman, the tired sheriff, the virgin, the foreign and a whole cavalcade of empty-headed, teenage idiots. And even then the premise is stupider, which is saying something. It's basically Sharknado with the tornado being replaced with a skiing resort. And the worst insult is that they try to force in a half-baked origin story for these sharks. And it doesn't convince or work, at all. The movie is really nothing more than a gorefest without the budget to pull of the blood carnage convincingly. The actors do their jobs merely to get paid, which means that we don't care what happens to them. The special effects are just sad to look and the story has no impact behind it, especially when the ending solution is so laughably deus ex machina. Don't see this film. Sometimes films like this have a certain "so bad it's good" quality, but this is just pathetic. Besides, I was promised a bikini skiing contest. And they never delivered. Unforgivable!

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• Bad But Better Than Disney 'Star Wars'

  cyx-394192018-07-10

  At least this one had a couple of attractive women and didn't hate the human body Disney taliban style. With that said, they never showed us the boobs and the whole idea was daft.