Bleed (2016) Reviews

• B o l l o c k s movie

  sheilaz-395752016-10-03

  I decided to watch this because it was rated 3 out of 5 stars on Netflix and Netflix people are notoriously hard on horror movies, so I figured it would be the equivalent of a 5 star by usual rating standards.... Let me preface this by stating that I love horror films, even ones that are also kind of stupid and that the majority of other people (let alone fancy film critics) hate, so truly, I am not expecting a whole lot.. However, even with the bar set to the ground, this movie was a HUGE disappointment. The acting is bad, the writing is terrible, the plot is all over the place, and the characters' motivations seem to come from nowhere and everywhere all at the same time. Like a fellow and anonymous Netflix reviewer said: "There was no plot! Just a bunch of scenes stitched together and the end was a W-T-F moment if I ever saw one." One of my other favorite comments was: "Typical B horror movie.... black guy gets killed first." So enough of the preface let's get into the real talk. **Spoilers below** I hated all the characters: the brother was a complete nutcase and I relished in his demise; you feel sort of bad for his girlfriend but not really; the Sabrina lady and her boyfriend not only had zero chemistry, but they were both annoying as all hell so when they died, it's sort of a celebration. The only characters that were somewhat likable - the Prego and her husband - also had their off-putting moments like when Prego's husband jumps to her rescue and she deserts him in his greatest moment of need, and of course moments like when the husband (who is supposed to be smart for god's sake) could have avoided this entire fiasco by saying "Bugger off brother-in-law and your nonsense plans," but instead gets hare-brained ideas exactly like joining his deranged brother-in-law along with an entourage of equally mentally unbalanced companions on a hike to an obviously unwelcoming, haunted prison. Anyways, even though this movie follows no plot or any sort of logic, the likability (not very high) of the characters seems to match the longevity of their respective lifespans (not very long) so at least this movie is just and fair in that sense. However, watching justice be delivered to these dumdums is simply not worth sitting through 1.5 hours of all the b o l l o c k s this terrible movie has in store. If you want to watch a good horror movie about people exploring a haunted building watch Archivo 253. Final Verdict: Do not trust ratings on Netflix ever again (at least for horror movies).

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• How did this get a cinematic release? It looks direct-to-DVD

  Zbigniew_Krycsiwiki2016-04-08

  Mediocre, gory, and featuring a screenplay which is all over the place, this tells a tale of a young, expectant couple, their bonehead brother and his girlfriend, and another couple who all go searching the woods near their new home, in search of an old, abandoned prison, supposedly haunted. The first 45 minutes were decent enough, with some occasionally inspired camera work, and medium-acting skills on display, but after that, the filmmakers didn't know where to go with it, and the film becomes a series of filmed events, without a story to progress, and then the writers, began going down any clichéd path possible, but yet they never get anywhere, and there is no resolution to anything: black guy is the first to die, Charles Manson lookalike, hallucinations which may or may not be real, some sort of hillbilly cult in the woods who want the unborn child for unexplained reasons, then, what is possibly the second most over-used twist ending, they all die, for reasons which, again, are never explained. Without the barely legible closing credits, this film clocks in at about an hour and ten minutes.

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• Hey, Riley Smith...

  Krackoon2016-03-30

  You're terrible. So, now that's out of the way, I can move on to the actual film. 'Bleed' doesn't know what it wants to be. It's a cross between 'The Drownsmen' and 'House of The Devil,' IF 'House of The Devil' were completely terrible, which it's not. My apologies to every person involved in 'House of The Devil' for comparing that fine film to this garbage. The acting is tolerable, other than Riley Smith, whose overacting is both laughable and shameful. So, the first part of the film is your basic, search a haunted area, see a badly made CGI ghost of Charles Manson, and run for your life... Well, other than Riley Smith's character, who somehow manages to find enough time to attempt a sex scene in mid-fright. Probably the dumbest scene in the entire film. The second part/plot line is your typical cult film, which comes with the ever so fascinating (steal the baby) birth scene. Needless to say, it's not any more frightening or entertaining. Random Ramblings of a Madman: 'Bleed' is a straight to DVD caliber horror film, that'll you'll regret seeing even before the credits start to roll... and a horror film that you won't remember months later. What I do with films like these, is I write myself memos, as reminders that I've seen the film before, and that I'd have more fun tearing my fingernails off with a set of rusty pliers. So, that pretty much sums up the film. I'm about to hit 'submit' now, and watch the down votes flow in. I just hope one of them is from Riley Smith. It's basically an autograph, but better, since I won't have to see his face to get it.

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• Bleed - my eyes did.

  scytheria-482032016-08-04

  Quite simply the worst movie I have ever watched. I only got to the end of this drivel because I was sick in bed and lacked the energy to do anything about it. I think it made my condition worse. The plot is haphazard, barely presented before it all concludes. The acting is passable, but quite why any of the cast didn't walk off the set on the first day of filming eludes me. Talk about career suicide. There's some gore. Some minor jump-scares. That's all I can say in defense of this movie. The hillbilly-cult, ritual slaughter, helpful-but-scary ghost, missing child, abandoned burned-out prison, rescue butterflies, stolen baby plot is the sort of rubbish three teenage boys might scratch together in five minutes, each throwing their own stupid ideas into the mix without regard to coherence. Do the world a favor. Buy every copy of this movie you can get your hands on and burn them.

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• Don't waste your time on this stinker

  jimelas2016-04-24

  I am always amazed at the movies that people actually have a budget and go on to make like really? Who green lit this project? Is there someone with money to burn out there because I like to know them personally!!! Let's get into it shall we, first and foremost this movie had potential to be great but instead of explaining things clearly or giving things a good explanation or some back story we get flashbacks that mean nothing because we don't know why we're seeing them and how they relate to the story as a whole. If we could have worked on that back story and told us why people with crescent birthmarks were being hunted down and killed then yeah that would have been awesome. How about we learn that Kane was actually trying to help the little girl and not kill her but he was blamed for all the killings then sat on fire by crooked cops. Then how about we not have the pregnant lady get in an accident, then run through the woods, then go into an abandoned prison, then run from bad guys all while being ready to give birth at anytime THEN you have her give birth and then slit her throat wtf? Who wrote this garbage and why does he hate women? Of course the black guy gets killed that's standard for "horror" films, the stoner hippie girl gets killed, everyone gets killed in this movie you know who should have been killed the movie as a whole. It should have just stayed on the editing room floor and been abandoned and forgotten. I can't believe that I watched this whole kill feast the only person that lived was the baby and again why do they keep killing the people with the crescent birthmarks? This was written so badly I get that they tried to fit in back story but the back story was more dynamic then the actually story so they should have just talked about the back story and why the whole town was killing crescent birthmark people, we never got what the symbols meant, we never got none of that because they writer had to be high and sleep deprived when he wrote this.

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