Cave (2016) Reviews

• Don't waste your time

  romneymeredith2017-06-19

  I like movies about caves. I like horror or suspense movies, which this one teased in the Netflix summary that the three cavers 'discover terror beyond all expectations' - what?? Seriously? This review is full of spoilers because I don't like getting jerked around by false expectations, plot holes and inexplicable scenes. Oh yeah, it's dubbed by what appears to be people who learned to dub English from bad Japanese monster movies. And the lack of chemistry between the leads was noticeable, although maybe that's a Norwegian thing. I know how Norwegians like herring but they overdid the red variety in this movie. It started out well - nice cinematography, beautiful setting, 3 young people planning a cave trip. And shortly after arriving at a cabin, one of them spots someone walking in the distance with a flashlight - who? We don't know. We then learn that one of the men is an ex-lover (Viktor) of the woman (Charlie) and the other is the current lover or husband (Adrian) and they're trying to have a baby. Then we see them floating down the river in a canoe and Adrian starts whistling the tune from 'Deliverance' as a joke when Charlie sees someone along the shore in the woods. They even make a joke about Ned Beatty getting molested. 2 appearances so far by unknown persons not even 15 minutes in - who are they? They eventually arrive at the cave entrance which has had the chain link seal ripped off - naturally they ignore the 'Stop' sign and go in. I'll try not to bore you, but Charlie spots a footprint in the cave dust and it isn't one of theirs, and then they discover a tent with belongings and blood all over some fabric, but decide to go ahead - this after Adrian's rope mysteriously slips and he gets a minor injury. Eventually they go up a narrow tunnel, stocky Viktor gets trapped and when Aidan digs him out the tunnel collapses behind them. No one seems worried that that avenue of escape if they were to need it is now gone! So what was the purpose of the scene?? I have no complaints with the music, cinematography and what appears to be slowly building suspense that something is really wrong in the cave - maybe something evil lives there. But I do have complaints that it's BS. Turns out that Viktor really wants Charlie for his own so he ends up killing Adrian near the end of the movie, and Charlie ends up killing Viktor with a rock, but not before Viktor is heard apparently talking to his father on a cellphone and telling him that things have gone wrong and to pick him up from the river. Charlie dives into a pool and comes up outside of the cave in the river and swims to shore, all the while being watched by a stranger up above. As she's walking down the road, a 4WD pulls up, an older man gets out and offers her a ride and blankets, and when he opens the trunk you can see a shotgun on top of a dead body. And as he drives off, he starts whistling the 'Deliverance' theme, even though in the movie it was Adrian and not Viktor who started whistling it - so what's the connection? And that is the absolute end of the movie - I am not kidding you. Who were the unknown people spotted earlier? What was the significance of the footprint in the cave? What happened in the bloody tent and to whom? Who was the body in the trunk? Why did the father start whistling 'Dueling Banjos'? Is the father going to kill Charlie? It's one of those movies that could have been so much better if the people involved had actually decided to write a good, taut plot that made sense and pays off the viewer with a good ending. I swear that I can write a far better plot that these idiots did. I gave it 2 stars simply because it had potential but it never delivered.

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• The trailer is better than the movie

  moviebuffchick2017-06-01

  This film isn't NEARLY as thrilling as the trailer makes it appear. Not even close! A couple and their old friend (her ex) go cave diving in attempt to find an exit to a cave. There isn't an exit indicated on the map... but this is what adventurous cave explorers do! OK cool! Likes: 1. AWESOME scenery and cinematography. 2. The characters were really adventurous, smart, capable/experienced, and had a really cool background. 3. Overall it was a pretty intriguing set up (basically it started out good). But when we talk about what's "waiting for them" deep beneath the ground? Well... not much. The trailer just uses good music and scenes to make you think this is a good thriller. But it's not. Dislikes: 1. The couple was kind of annoying... well the guy was. They didn't have a lot of chemistry either. 2. A couple things happened that are only used to make you think something worse is coming... but nah. These incidents are either unrelated or they did a poor job of making the connection. 3. The third act was poor. After the second act there was still a chance for this to be a decent movie... but they completely dropped the ball here. If you're at home and bored on a Saturday afternoon... go ahead and check it out... I wouldn't say it's a COMPLETE waste of time. Otherwise don't bother. This is not something I'd recommend. Audio review... no spoilers ohttps://youtu.be/XToxIdMJxus @moviebuffchick1

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• Skip this and watch "Sanctum"

  beusbeus2017-06-20

  It was a sunny Tuesday afternoon and after finishing work early I decided to relax and enjoy a new release on Netflix. My dog was sleeping on the balcony after his afternoon walk, my microwavable lasagna was cooling off on my coffee table and I laid down on the couch with the remote control in one hand and a glass of Pinot Noir in the other hand. I scrolled through the movies and as an avid scuba diver and a fan of "Sanctum" I decided to give this intriguing film a chance. After about twenty seconds into the movie I found myself stopping it, not because it looked bad (the cinematography was the only decent thing in this train wreck), but because I wanted to see if I could change the audio back to its original language instead of having to listen to the horrendous English dubbing, but Netflix wasn't offering that option (Bad Netflix, Bad!). I returned to the movie with lowered expectations that still ended up being shattered throughout the movie. ***Spoiler Alert**** After getting to meet the protagonists (a couple and their friend the third wheel) we get to observe mad skills from one of the two guys who manages to race his friend through windy mountain roads while making out with his girlfriend sitting in the passenger seat. I laughed it off as a typical film car scene where actors forget that they're supposed to look like they're driving and carried on... The race between the couple and the third wheel riding his motorcycle looked more like a funeral motorcade than an actual race but maybe the guy driving the car was just being careful because he knew he was transporting everyone's dive equipment in his tiny car...ahem They get to a cabin where they come up with a plan for their big adventure: Go into a cave and follow a map that looks like a coffee stain and find the/an exit with no contingency plan. They all quickly agree and we all realize that they're not the smartest bunch. The couple then proceeds to have sex with the lights on in front of "Third wheel" who also happens to be the girl's ex-boyfriend. They're not a wise bunch but they are strong, REALLY strong, they carry their dive gear and oxygen tanks through the forest and down the cave like they're just carrying a Camelpak on their morning stroll around the neighborhood... There is a quick homage to another adventure gone bad named "Deliverance", there are a few moments with no payoffs followed by a few cheesy lines and they finally descend into the cave. At some point, what we were all waiting for finally happens: The cave crumbles and blocks the only known way out of the cave, but nobody seems phased by this... but it's OK, because it's already been established that they ain't that bright. With no way out and at least a few days without a cold shower, "Third wheel" realizes he doesn't want to be the third wheel anymore and decides to fondle his ex-girlfriend while she's asleep next to her current boyfriend: creepy factor is high there and that is probably the "Terror beyond all expectations" from the tag line of the movie. They stick with the plan and finally get to dive and since safety has never been an issue on this trip, nobody realizes that "Boyfriend" runs out of air and is about to drown... but it's OK, he makes it to the top alive... And then he dies after a short fight with "Third wheel" who drowns him a few feet away from his girlfriend who doesn't see anything in the crystal clear water...oh no wait, he's still breathing The end is just weird and feels like the writers had a deadline to meet and no creative juice. After, boyfriend gets killed in front of girlfriend (because third wheel didn't hear her running back to them in the otherwise empty silent cave), third wheel becomes creepy, then he snaps and goes insane and thinks he's talking to his dad on the phone, he dies, and girlfriend jumps in the water to commit suicide but she accidentally finds the mysterious exit and "The end"... At least my Pinot Noir was good *sigh*

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• Predictable and really really bad

  Eddie_weinbauer2017-01-27

  3 friends=Two guys and a girl( with absolutely no on screen chemistry) has decided to go on a pre planed cave exploration,to find some exit that none has found before. One of the guys is the girls longtime ex.BF.and the other is her current boyfriend.And they are all awkward friends.Guess where the thriller element is. There's very little in the way of character development here,and no back ground story on the 3 friends.Aside from that you get to know one of is her ex bf. And the on screen chemistry is none existent.But that't quite common for Norwegian movies,along with stilted dialogue. Norwegian actors,seem to have a very big problem getting into the role of their character,and make him or her convincing. Especially in Norwegian movies. *******warning spoiler*************Warning Spoiler************ I don't know much about underwater cave exploring,or cave exploring in general.But I would assume you need to have some sort of back up plan.Something that can take you back to the entrance, if you go down the wrong rabbit whole,or get turned around. But these guys go on a whim and a prayer. They got some sketched map they follow,but only one copy. I doubt it would do them any good if you get turned around in a cave. Also when I think of cave explorers, I would assume they need to be fit.But one of the guys is so fat, that he's beer gut make him look 5 months pregnant. Also very little with the exploration seem very well planed. They have left everything up to one person.No pre check of equipment no each man is responsible for their own checklist etc. I know if I was going on something as dangerous as this,I would check my own equipment twice,and have back on my back up plan.

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• Not As Advertised And The Bad Writing Doesn't Help.

  Tai_MT2017-10-03

  "Torn between old camaraderie and recent tensions, three ex-soldiers reunite to explore a deadly cave but soon discover terror beyond all expectations." This is what drew me into watching "Cave" on Netflix. Were I reading this on the back of a DVD box, I'd have just wasted my money. While this isn't what initially angered me about the movie, it was the final straw. What do I mean? I mean that the blurb makes it sound like it's a psychological thriller, a monster movie, or a ghost story. It is none of those things. If you're looking for a monster movie or a psychological thriller, this is not a movie you want to see. So, let's take a small journey with me to that straw. We'll start with the characters. None of them have a personality. There's the boyfriend who is basically a jerk who wants to sleep with his girlfriend constantly, there's the ex boyfriend whom we know very little about other than he used to date the girlfriend... and the girlfriend who is basically the token moron of the film. I don't remember their names, because it's difficult to remember them, when they don't even act like people with distinct personalities. The acting itself doesn't really feel like they're acting either. This is likely because they're dubbed, but a lot of the physical actions don't look like realistic representations of people either. I'll get into that a bit more after the spoiler tag. ***Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers.*** The entire movie is set-up for the part near the end where... gasp and shock... The ex boyfriend kills the boyfriend so he can be with his ex girlfriend. It's boring. It's predictable. It's forgivable, provided you have 1. Good acting. 2. Solid story. This has neither. They get trapped in the cave, nobody reacts with any sort of panic or survival instinct. Just an all around "meh". They find a tent slashed up with a sleeping bag full of blood and the boyfriend and girlfriend have minor concern about it which is easily swept away by the ex boyfriend. The boyfriend and girlfriend decide to have sex in front of her ex. The boyfriend and ex boyfriend have a very poorly choreographed "headlock fight" by an outhouse, which isn't believable in the slightest. They hint that one of them might have claustrophobia, but nothing is made of it beyond some passing comments of "just relax and keep breathing"... with two of the actors looking bored and impatient with the whole situation. Later, the boyfriend begins drowning and while he doesn't panic, he also doesn't move to look for the surface, and just kind of makes little mouth moving gestures of "I need to breathe", which isn't realistic at all. They spot a drowned driver and you hear a lot of "muffled screaming" under the water from the girlfriend, which makes no sense since she didn't freak out about the sleeping bag covered in blood. The point I turned the movie off was when the boyfriend reaches the surface, takes his breath, says something to the ex boyfriend, and when he turns around... ex boyfriend dunks him under water and then tries choking him at the same time. Boyfriend comes up for air again and immediately asks, "what are you doing?". Uh, lessee, he packed your air, which you ran out of, and now he's trying to push you under the water. You have to be dense not to realize what he's doing. Even worse? He doesn't even fight back. Just accepts his fate. I guess I would too, to get out of a movie written so terribly. I turned it off at that point. It became too much to bare.

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