Disaster Movie (2008) Reviews

• The fact that aspiring actors, directors, and writers can't find work while this crap is produced is absolutely appalling.

  The_Amazing_Spy_Rises2008-08-28

  *Disclaimer: I only watched this movie as a conditional agreement. And I see films for free. I wouldn't be caught dead giving my hard earned money to these idiots. Well, to explain the depth of this 'film', I could write my shortest review, ever. Don't see this movie. It is by far the stupidest, lamest, most lazy, and unbelievably UNFUNNY movie I have ever seen. It is a total disaster. But since my hatred for this movie, and the others like it, extends far beyond one viewing, I think I'll go on for a bit. I don't know any of the people in the movie besides Carmen Electra, Vanessa Minnillo, and Kim Kardashian, but it doesn't matter. They're all horrible, though I think that was the point. The editing is flat out horrible, and possibly blatant continuity errors make this crapfast even crappier than I thought it would be. Now I know that these films are not supposed to be serious at all, but come on, it's film-making 101 that if someone gets a minor facial cut, it should be there in the next shot. AND, if someone gets cut by a sword, there should be blood and at least a cut (though since the Narnia films "get away with it", I'll give Disaster Movie a pass here). The 'jokes' are thoughtless and mindless physical gags that obviously take after some of the most popular movies of the last year (there's some from late 2007 as well, including 2 of our 5 Best Picture nominees). You know what the saddest thing about these stupid movies are? I don't care how much money they make, or how many cameos they have, these sorry ass excuses for films are taking away jobs from actors, writers, and directors that truly deserve the attention. Lionsgate, I thought you had better taste than this. You should be ashamed of yourselves for making this kind of crap. And as for Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer? Burn in hell. You guys are contributing to the decline of western civilization. Correction...you are the CAUSE of the downfall of western civilization.

  More

• There's just no point anymore

  fatalbertqueenlatifahsameperson2008-08-29

  Really, I could write a scathing review of this turd sandwich, but instead, I'm just going to be making a few observations and points I've deduced. There's just no point in watching these movies anymore. Does any reader out there remember Scary Movie? Remember how it was original with a few comedic elements to it? There was slapstick, some funny lines, it was a pretty forgettable comedy, but it was worth the price of admission. Well, That was the last time this premise was funny. STOP MAKING THESE MOVIES. PLEASE. I could call for a boycott of these pieces of monkey sh*t, but we all know there's going to be a line up of pre pubescent annoying little buggers, spouting crappy one liners like, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and, "IM RICK JAMES BITCH" so these movies will continue to make some form of monetary gain, considering the production value of this movie looks like it cost about 10 cents to make. Don't see this movie. Don't spend any money on it. Go home, rent Airplane, laugh your ass off, and then silently judge the people that are talking about this movie on Monday. Do yourself a favor.

  More

• My Eyes!!!!

  borgcube-32008-08-28

  It's hard to imagine anyone writing a 'spoof' movie even worse than Meet the Spartans, but Seltzer and Friedberg have pulled it off. It's not even just a little worse. It makes Spartans look like Raiders of the Lost Ark in comparison. You will seriously feel ill afterwards and more than likely have a strong urge to gouge your eyes out. May Contain Spoilers....if you care: First off, as it appeared in the trailer, this movie does not spoof, or really even reference disaster movies at all. The set shakes a few times, there are some plastic asteroids, and a bad cgi tornado, all of which that do nothing to add anything to the movie, but other than this there's nothing even relating this to said style of film. Instead we get references (not to be confused with actual spoofs) to such films as High School Musical, Step Up, this summer's crop of comic based films, Enchanted, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Kung Fu Panda, and Sex and the City. I can't wait to hear Seltzer and Friedberg praise their own genius and describe this movie as being modeled around Cloverfield...they clearly tried to do this, but other than the outline of the small group of people running through the city trying to find the injured girlfriend, there's nothing relating this piece of crap to the monster movie. I can honestly say I did not laugh once at this movie. All of the "jokes" were forced, and many of them were dragged on for several minutes at a time...the two writers clearly thinking they were onto some kind of comedy gold here. Probably the most insulting thing about this movie is, like all their other gems: Epic, Date, Spartans, they consider the audience to be mentally challenged...having to tell us point blank what movie it is they are referencing (again...not spoofing) Such lines like: "It's an inconvenient truth, it's global warming," "Come here you kung fu panda," "what is this enchanted place," "How do you know all this? I know because I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," "Let me get my Get Smart phone (proceeds to talk on his shoe)," and "whats with the marching band? I thought I'd cheer you up with a high school musical" all exist to make sure we're in on their super intelligent antics. Please, save your money for anything else. Show Hollywood that they need to stop these two guys from making any more movies. I can't even imagine a 5 year old finding this stuff funny. Speaking of 5 years old, that's about how long many of these jokes will last before absolutely no one can find them funny anymore since, as usual, most of them are simply based on pop culture references.

  More

• Not Humorous...in the least bit

  GipsyDanger842008-08-28

  I am writing this in hopes that this gets put over the previous review of this "film". How anyone can find this slop entertaining is completely beyond me. First of all a spoof film entitled "Disaster Movie", should indeed be a spoof on disaster films. Now I have seen 1 (yes count them, 1) disaster film being spoofed, that being "Twister". How does Juno, Iron Man, Batman, The Hulk, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Amy Winehouse, or Hancock register as Disaster films? Selzterwater and Failburg once again have shown that they lack any sort of writing skill and humor. Having unfortunately been tortured with Date Movie and Epic Movie I know exactly what to expect from these two...no plot, no jokes just bad references and cheaply remade scenes from other films. Someone should have informed them that satire is more than just copy and paste from one film to another, though I shouldn't say that because some of these actually just seem to be taken from trailers. There is nothing clever or witty or remotely smart about the way these two write, and I can't believe that some people still pay to see these travesties. It's an insult to the audience, though if they enjoy these films I doubt that they are smart enough to realize that. Rating: Unfortunately there is not a number low enough (yes this includes negatives) to rate this. This deserves to be in the top 5 worst films of all time, right there with Date Movie, Epic Faliure...I mean movie, and Meet the Spartans. I would rather be forced into a 24 hour "Manos: The Hands of Fate" marathon than watch this slop.

  More

• Someone please put an end to Seltzer's awful career

  Andy Sandfoss2008-08-28

  I was given a free ticket to this film; so I can't complain that I was ripped off (except in that some 90 minutes of my life were irretrievably stolen from me). These sort of movies (Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans) haven't been funny for some time now but "Disaster Movie" has reached a new low. There wasn't one real laugh anywhere in the film, and most of the alleged "jokes" were actually painful. (There was a considerable amount of childish, mean-spirited stuff in the form of racist, sexist, and especially homophobic, garbage present, along with ample helpings of juvenile gross-outs.) None of the actors were even bothering to put up any pretense of acting. There is nothing hip, clever, or even mildly intelligent going on here. The entire film is from beginning to end crass, vulgar, irrational, and utterly humorless in any human sense. I know that in the past these sort of trash has made enough money to keep Seltzer et al., grinding them out but "Disaster Movie" may just be the downfall of the franchise. The utter contempt that Seltzer and his collaborators have for their audience is finally beginning to show through clearly. If this one fails (and from what I saw in the almost empty theater there is a good chance of it), Seltzer will have to go back to the drawing board, stop making these lazy catastrophes, and finally develop a real sense of humor. This movie is an unfunny piece of puke - stay away from it.

  More