The Key (2008) Reviews

• A whole new breed of awful

  Shattered_Wake2008-07-10

  A group of friends head to an abandoned house thinking they're on a simple film shoot to make a documentary about the supposed hauntings. Unbeknownst to them, the leader of their group is out for himself. . . to find a treasure left by his grandfather. Things go smoothly until one of the crewmembers open a door (with 'The Key,' I assume) unleashing a demonic force that takes out the cast one by one. As much as I love Sam Raimi, he brought a horrible curse upon the world with The Evil Dead. Oh, no. . . not the film, because that film is fantastic. But he unleashed a hellish force more powerful than any deadite army. The horror genre, since 1981, has been flooded by a legion of horrible filmmakers making horrible films all about the same thing: dumb college kids unlocking the door between Earth and Beyond, resulting in something evil stalking them down at a cabin in the woods. Some of them have risen above the others, but not many. The Key, with its horrible acting, awful script, and laughable attempt at terror, isn't much different than the rest of the bottom-of-the-barrel cabin-horror films we've had to deal with over the past couple decades. . . except it's worse. Much, much worse. I cannot find a single redeeming aspect to this film, other than a few, err, nicely built women (who all keep their clothes on, unfortunately) and the fact that a guy named D-Rizzle was a major part of the production, taking part in the acting, editing, and music. But beyond that, this film is a whole new level of bad, a breed of awful that left me in slack-jawed amazement. This is a film SO bad that I feel the need to either show it to everyone I know in hopes that maybe, one day, it would put a stop to films like this. . . or find every single copy in existence and destroy them like the tape in The Ring. Until I find the true fate for this film, I highly suggest you stay far, far away. Anything else may be detrimental to you, your loved ones, and anyone you've ever known. Final verdict: A generous 0.01/10. One-hundredth of a point for simply 'completing' the film. Although, if negatives were possible, I think I would have to use them. -AP3-

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• Technically inept indie horror....

  nekojiru672008-09-02

  A documentary filmmaker inherits an old masonic lodge from his grandfather, along with a mysterious key. He decides to film a documentary on the building with some friends. This Kansas indie horror film was made for $2000, and none of that money was spent on hiring anyone who knows anything at all about sound recording. At times you can't hear what the characters are saying. Mix that with confused scene blocking and what appears to be the wrong lens for the camera (resulting in a bright image center and dark fuzzy outline on the screen edges) and you've got an exercise in frustration. The building, which is supposedly haunted and a focus of the film, is never given any screen time. Plus it doesn't look that old or scary. The film has about as much spooky atmosphere as a bowl of Rice Crispies. And about the same amount of plot. The actors aren't quite as bad as the rest of the production, but there are some cringe-inducing displays. The youngest actress, Tabitha Lester, is actually the best. Marcus Miller also performs at a higher level than one would expect. Truthfully, there is only one reason to watch this film, and that is the incredible amount of cleavage on display by Tabitha Lester and Courtney Cook.... if you're into that sort of thing. It's almost as if they were having a contest to see who could display the most.

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• The Key to happiness is to avoid this film

  movieman_kev2008-09-15

  A group of friends go to an abandoned building under the belief that they'll be shooting a documentary on it's haunted past, but Dylan, the guy who spearheaded going up to the apartment, really has plans to search for a hidden treasure within the house, supposedly, \hidden by his grandfather who was a Freemason. They instead find a key than opens the portal to hell. The acting is awful, the plot line extremely cliché and unoriginal, the action takes forever to get started and when it does it solicited no more than bored indifference from me. This film has no redeeming value and borders ever so slightly on being unwatchable. My Grade: D-

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• What is acting?

  gerry1372009-03-07

  You know, I went into this film/movie/whatever with very low expectation's, and! all the comments, summary's are right. the acting is nonexistent (honestly year 6 kids could do better) I can only agree what has only been stated in this forum the movie is crap. Honestly it had a porn movie atmosphere, what is with these types of movies that think the viewer wants to see a heap of screaming kids that are screaming about nothing, or the in-depth stalking of a student on a street with a stupid result:(yeah she punched you in he face, broke your nose; idiot what do you expect) Do not waste your time, go get a haircut your time is more valuable than sitting thru this movie.

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