The Triangle (2016) Reviews

• It's Not a Movie If There's No Story

  clowncartragedy2017-01-25

  This film takes ages to come anywhere near anything resembling an Act Two, let alone a plot, and it relies so heavily on ambiguity that it inspires more frustration than fear or fascination. The "plot" is about a documentary team that is called out to the desert by an old friend who's joined a Burning Man-ish cult (?) and needs their help for some vague reason it takes an hour to get around to. Finally, with 20 minutes left, a person goes missing and people get sick. That isn't a spoiler even though it's the bulk of the film's action. Meanwhile, there's a mysterious cave. What's in the cave? It doesn't matter. Trust me. Then there's a little more chaos, some padding of the film while the documentarians rehash everything that has happened so far in the way no one ever does, and then the film ends with what is meant to be a creepy long shot whose underlying "dread" is amplified by its total and utter meaninglessness. Before I get comments about wanting a movie's story "spoon-fed to me," here's a quick comment on ambiguous plots: I don't mind stories that leave questions unanswered. Blurring the edges of the plot can be an extremely effective story-telling tool. And sometimes being overly explanatory can ruin the horror and intrigue caused by the unknown. However, leaving some story elements up for debate only works when other story elements are clearly explained. Imagine going to a haunted house that is pitch black and utterly silent all the way through versus one that shows weird looming shadows in the corners that make strange, unidentifiable sounds. Context is necessary for terror and dread, otherwise nothing makes sense or even matters. In other words, without the known to compare it to, the unknown is nothing but blathering, pointless nonsense. You don't need to spoon-feed audiences an entire story, but you DO need to give them SOMETHING of substance, if for no other reason than to whet their appetite. This movie provides absolutely nothing resembling a coherent plot point, hoping its true-to-life characters and rigorously-honest found footage technique will be enough to overlook the unforgivable fact that nothing of note happens, and what does happen is so senseless, you might as well be watching someone's boring fever dream. In case you're still wondering let me give you a taste of what this movie was like. I won't rehash the film, but I describe a sort of tribute to it. If this appeals to you, you might enjoy the movie. Otherwise, stay far away. First, imagine you're in the middle of nowhere meeting some privileged back-to-earth hippies in designer sunglasses who constantly spout hypocritically unironic b.s. about the meaning and nature of "true life." ("People in New York are so arrogant because they think they know what life is. But they don't. We do, though! This is real life right here.") Imagine talking to these people for an hour. Some of them are douchy. Others are reserved. You poop in a ditch. It's hot. They tell you not to go near the shadow of the boat, whatever that means. After two weeks of this, they finally trust you enough to ask you to do drugs with them. There's all sorts of crazy lights and colors and music and they've got their own back-to-earth granola set-up wired with strobe lights and huge colored flood lamps for some reason. You dance and giggle and stare right at the camera. Now, imagine that there's a hole! And then you see the shadow of a boat in the hole! It gives someone a headache! Everyone starts to run around and cry. One guy wets his pants. A girl takes off her clothes. The moon disappears. The ground buzzes like a ten-cent kazoo. The boat shadow comes back, except it has big cartoon eyes. One of them winks at you. Are you still stoned? NO! That's how you know this is scary! None of you are stoned anymore! What does the boat shadow mean? Well, the cult members all mention that they were born with the same scar on their left ankle in the shape of the Trix bunny rabbit, and that the rabbit had long hair that turned into a river they decided they needed to flow the boat on. What does that mean? Does it matter? Who knows? They start crying, especially the women! Then there's more buzzing from that hole with the boat shadow! Ouch, you have a headache! Then the sky flashes. Everyone does a dance. One guy bleeds from his ears. You set up cameras to record the night and the next day. What you see will shock you! There's a flicker of light as a rabbit on a boat gives you the finger, all of the cult members wrapped around that middle finger. Then they disappear. Then the movie is over. That right there actually makes MORE sense and is MORE interesting than the plot you'll find in this film, which is equally incoherent and malformed. That's not well-crafted ambiguity or teasing terror. That's pure laziness. It's utterly senseless. It's boring. It's what happens when you substitute an entire film's worth of ambiguity for what should be even the barest bones of a story. It's so pretentious and self-indulgent that it's mind-boggling anyone thought it was worth filming, let alone worth editing for THREE YEARS. If anything, this 96 minute film, cut down to thirty minutes, might form the Act One of a much better, much more intriguing movie about an entire cult of people disappearing in the desert and what happened to them. Instead, it's one long fuzzy look at absolutely nothing.

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• This is NOT A HORROR movie

  pensacolacomputer2017-06-07

  This found footage "movie" was absolutely horrible. Please do not waste 1 hour and 40 minutes like I did. I am the type that reads reviews before watching movies and I read them here on IMDb and the links to other review movie websites. They were all glowing and pretty much had nothing but good to say about the " horror movie".....You're left with more questions than answers. And thats okay with some movies however with this one its... I don't care....I have definitely seen worse but because off all the excellent reviews I read I felt compelled to leave a review here warning people, this is NOT a good movie...And is DEFINITELY NOT A HORROR MOVIE...you have been warned

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• As all FF films, starts strong, but.....

  toecutter-72017-07-01

  I was intrigued by this film, due to some reviews I read here at IMDb. Apparently, I read the wrong reviews.The film isn't "bad", it's actually technically executed very well. The acting is actually quite convincing, with specific props to Andrew Rizzo, who plays the group's leader. He manages to balance what seems like underlying malice with a "Hey, it's all cool" attitude. There's a building feeling of dread as the film progresses and then things very interesting (sound like most found footage films you've seen?) In the closing scenes of the film, things get very, very strange and the tension level rises considerably when things start going south rapidly. And just as we think we're about to see the big reveal: Nothing. Nada. Just as with so many of these FF films, we're left to wonder what the hell just happened and what we've just spent 90 mins watching. Only questions, no answers. I scored this film a 4 based on it's technical competence. That said, I've seen better films that lacked the technical prowess of this film because they actually told me a story with a plausible ending.

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• Half of a movie

  dragonianera2017-08-04

  This film does a great job of building atmosphere and giving you characters that feel real-ish. Then it gives you like a quarter of a plot and some hints and ultimately goes nowhere. It also really drags in pacing as time goes on. Potential squandered.

• Self indulgent garbage.

  manuelasaez2017-12-07

  The Found-footage genre seems to attract the worst kind of film maker. The ones who would rather do cheap vanity projects than actually attempt to make a decent film. After watching this poor excuse for a film, I think I hit the nose on the head with my assumptions. Let me set the scene for you; a group of dorks receive a postcard from one of their missing dorks, and he invites them to visit him in his commune. The commune is really a bunch of entitled losers who decide to forgo the comforts of modern society and instead live cheaply in the wilds of the Montana desert (I didn't even know Montana had deserts). Everyone in this group is an insufferable hippie; who in their right mind gives up modern things like electricity and television to live with a group of other weirdos, freaks and geeks? There is something strange going on, but no one wants to talk about it. That's where the movie failed for me. The film starts out with an hour of people talking, giving each other weird glances, a camera man who is scared of his own shadow, and a just cult-like atmosphere seeping from every corner of 'The Triangle'. So for almost an hour, we see their daily activity, from cooking to pooping, and nothing else of interest goes on. I am not exaggerating; save for the camera that gave me violent nausea, nothing else of interest goes on. Until they show the film crew what it is that they were hiding. My interest peaked, I thought we were going to be treated to a final half hour of creepy developments and startling discoveries. But, just as quickly as the interesting thing happen, the movie ended. Not in a whimper, but in a half-hearted "Meh". It was obvious that the film makers were on a budget, or were just extremely cheap, since this film literally ended like most movies begin.This whole experience felt like something that was half baked, like a cake that was taken out of the just as the outside turned brown. The credits told me everything I needed to know about this failure, and with a truly talented team, this movie could have been something interesting. But these people are not talented, nor do they deserve your time or money. Avoid this movie, never speak of it, and watch something else. Anything else. Just because I wasted an hour and a half of my life, doesn't mean anyone else has to. Heed my warning; This "Triangle" definitely deserves to disappear.

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