Asteroid vs Earth (2014) Reviews

• Worse than expected

  Tyypo2014-07-07

  I watched this anticipating, even looking forward to, a bad movie. Within a few minutes, it sets up the premise as revealed in the title. As such, it starts like any of too many movies with same basic plot, and devolves from there. Incomprehensible, unrelated, unexplainable events follow, and then the movie ends. That is as much as you need to know going into it, and it's more than you will remember one day later. I feel sorry for Tia Carrere for being desperate enough to be in this movie. It is typical fare for Jason Brooks. It aspires to the level of even a typical Syfy Original movie from Asylum, but fails. It's no Sharknado.

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• Ludicrous storyline leaves for a below mediocre experience...

  paul_haakonsen2014-06-22

  Given the synopsis of this movie, you know that you are going to be in for a low budget version of disaster movies already done before with bigger budgets and a more impressive cast list. And the very first thing that pops up on the screen is in itself a warning sign enough to behold, The Asylum. Yep, a movie such as this is, of course, a movie by The Asylum. So why keep watching it? Well, every now and then The Asylum do manage to strike gold and release something that is impressive and surprisingly good. "Asteroid vs. Earth" wasn't one of those moments, however. A massive asteroid is on a collision course with Earth, and it is up to the American military to save the world, of course. And how do they plan to do this? Well, first of all by attempting to scatter the meteor into fragments by blowing it up with nuclear warheads out in space (yep, that has been seen and done before countless times). And if that plan is to fail, the failsafe plan is to detonate nuclear warheads in a deep oceanic trench to, and I kid you not, move the entire Earth out of the trajectory of the meteor. Move the Earth, are you kidding me? I guess that puts a whole new meaning to the song "I feel the Earth move". The storyline in "Asteroid vs. Earth" is just so preposterous and out there that it doesn't pass as being believable for even the slightest of moments. And you just sit there throughout the entire movie baffled at the ludicrous imagination going on here. I sat down to watch this movie simply because of Tia Carrere, and she actually do manage to make the movie watchable. The rest of the movie barely scrapes by as being mildly entertaining at best. The effects in the movie is nothing to make notice of. It wasn't particularly memorable. But truth be told, I have seen much worse effects and CGI in movies. If you enjoy disaster movies, there are far better ones available.

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• Let's see if we can destroy the planet first

  unbrokenmetal2014-10-18

  "Asteroid vs. Earth" tells the same old story of an asteroid on collision course with earth - however, the plan to avoid the collision is different from previous movies on the same subject. Instead of blowing up the asteroid, the protagonists want to cause a massive earthquake, 18 (!) on the Richter scale, to push the earth out of the way. Robert Davi plays a 4 star general who is immediately convinced this lunatic plan is great. So let's blow up the earth to save it! Tia Carrere plays a scientist who is more or less abducted to co-operate, otherwise I presume no person with a scientific mind - or any mind for that matter - would take part in this enterprise. If someone seriously attempts to list the goofs in this movie, especially things are technically not possible, he'll be busy for days. The most enjoyable thing on the Blu-ray disc was the making of, when the stars try desperately to keep a straight face, saying thinks like "I signed for the movie because I thought the script was brilliant". Yes, sure, most likely that's how it happened.

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• No Just No

  ydoc162015-08-17

  Only watched this movie because I saw that Tuvok from Star Trek was in it, and for his role in the movie I guess he did a passable job. The movie however was so terrible... The plot is completely and utterly garbage, only a person with no schooling of any type would buy the story. It's one of those moments in a movie where they need to get you to go along with what they are saying. There are usually two ways, Science, and magic. Lets face it they would have been better off going the magic route on this one. Second, Roles of officials, Soldiers, and general professionals. The world leaders acted like badly mannered teenagers, and seemed completely incompetent. The Main scientist was a Child, The person in charge of the nukes on shore had to be the worst over-actor I have seen in ages. He made those crates seem so heavy that Hulk couldn't have lifted them but some how he did after he had himself a cry. The General in charge of the US affairs doesn't have any scientific advisers or professionals instead he trusts a child for advice. The Soldiers just pointed guns at everyone. Going to pick up a scientist to help with the plan, Sure lets all point m16's at her and yell loudly. Hey we are going to offload nuclear devices at a naval base and apparently there is no where to store them on base so lets lug em around in SUV's. The engineers on the ship were incompetent. When told to wrap things up outside the ship and continue working from the inside the Head engineer tells someone inside! the ship to stop work.... The ship itself seems to be held together with duct tape. Let us delve a little deeper though, no Romance in the film just a really fake gay relationship that was done terribly. The relationship between the XO and the female scientist was Just terrible, they kiss at the end after having had no real romantic moments the entire movie... Apparently our intern dies from foam ceiling tiles a collapsible pipe and some drywall.

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• This Looks Like a Job for Superman

  wes-connors2015-02-06

  An asteroid is discovered to be on a collision course with Earth. This one is 200 miles wide; comparatively, the one thought to have wiped out the dinosaurs was only six miles wide. Ouch. For some nonsensical reasons, it is decided to move Earth out of the way. Earthquakes are set to "blow up the Yap Trench" and save the planet. Taking the planet Earth out of its orbit and rotation would also kill everyone, but nobody seems to care. US military officials abduct undersea deep sea geophysicist Tia Carrere (as Marissa Knox) and nuclear submarine pilot Jason Brooks (as Chase Seward) to assist in moving Earth. They were just about to have sex, but Earth comes first... Science fiction at its worst. Christopher Douglas Olen Ray unsteadily directs this woefully haphazard disaster movie. The plot makes no scientific sense; grade-school knowledge about Earth and the solar system are, apparently, forgotten by college students. While writer Adam Lipsius scores points with diverse characters, they have little chemistry and no community. Several take the assignment too seriously. This may be why less seasoned performers like Charles Byun (as Evan "Telly" Kitsias) outperform elders like Robert Davi (as Jim Masterson). The most memorable co-stars, Wade F. Wilson and Craig Blair (as Rudy and Terry), never appear on screen together. ** Asteroid vs Earth (4/29/14) Christopher Ray ~ Jason Brooks, Tia Carrere, Robert Davi, Wade F. Wilson

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